It’s like Cinderella’s slipper.

She can give her name and confirm where she was before midnight, but it’s only when the slipper fits that Prince Charming knows she’s for real. The Prince was an early adopter of 2FA.

Apparel

Character

Book

Related terms

It’s like the connectors on the back of your TV.

They let you plug in a device from another manufacturer (DVD player, games console, set-top box) and both the TV and the device know what to do next. The connectors are the interface that lets one machine talk to another.

Electronics

Household

Television

Related terms

It’s like turnstiles for software.

If you’re an authorized visitor, you’ll stroll straight through.

Transit

Infrastructure

Everyday

Related terms

It’s like auto-skipping the ads on recorded TV.

The ads fund the programs, but if people can find a way to avoid watching them, they usually do.

Behavior

Television

Related terms

It’s like a band trying new material on tour.

Rather than holing up in a studio for months before releasing their masterpiece to the world, the band tries out new songs with audiences – testing what works and what doesn’t, adding an extra verse, or scrapping a song entirely if the crowd keeps throwing stuff at them.

Music

Occasion

Related terms

It’s like pixelating someone’s face in a video.

You can still hear what they say, but you don’t know who they are.

Television

Related terms

It’s like a corkscrew.

A browser is like a Swiss Army Knife – an all-purpose tool that lets you do a lot of things to a basic level. An app does one job (an important job in this case), but should do it well.

Drink

Tool

Related terms

It’s like someone jumping in and finishing your sentences.

Fun and impressive if it’s your telepathic best friend, but annoying if it’s someone else who always gets it wrong.

Language

Related terms

It’s like the ground beneath a city.

Above ground are all the familiar sights – HTML houses, CSS cathedrals, Javascript office blocks. Beneath the ground are the utilities that make the city function smoothly – a labyrinthine network of web servers, applications, and databases.

Geeky

Infrastructure

Related terms

It’s like a secret book on the library shelf

that opens a door when you lift it. Only the creator of the hidden door knows its location, but it’s theoretically possible for other people to have a look and get lucky.

Book

Related terms

It’s like a water pipe

that serves the shower, washing machine and dishwasher in your apartment. If you run all three at the same time, you’ll notice a drop in pressure and whoever’s in the shower will get annoyed.

Household

Infrastructure

Everyday

Related terms

It’s like mapping a new world.

At ground level, as you hack your way through the undergrowth and scramble across ravines, you might struggle to build up a clear picture. But with the right tool (a hot air balloon), you can see the whole landscape and identify patterns, like the contours of a mountain or meandering flow of a river.

Geography

Nature

Related terms

It’s like digital gold.

There is a finite BitCoin supply that can be ‘mined’ every year (by using sophisticated software, not a pick and shovel). And, like gold, you can exchange it from one person to another without the need for a bank.

Money

Commerce

Related terms

It’s like photocopying a book.

If you have one person and one photocopier, it’s a laborious process to copy each page. But if you have many photocopiers and willing helpers, you can tear the pages out, copy a few each, and assemble a new book pretty quickly.

Book

Electronics

Related terms

It’s like a kid who enjoys breaking things,

not building things.

Behavior

Related terms

It’s like worker ants.

Each bot has a job assigned to it (taking the rubbish out, gathering food, building the nest) and will do it relentlessly for its entire life.

Insect

Nature

Profession

Related terms

It’s like a zombie army,

full of dead-eyed, half-crazed people obeying the instructions of a remote and unseen master, without realizing they are part of a destructive tribe. Some people draw a parallel with Justin Bieber fans.

Celebrity

Character

Related terms

It’s like admitting you were drunk last night.

And you may have told that story about the embarrassing thing that happened on your wedding night. The thing you definitely promised to keep secret. You’re not sure how much detail you went into. It may have been a lot. You are really sorry.

Drink

Behavior

Related terms

It’s like a television set.

The content is broadcast in from somewhere else. The TV displays it so you can watch it. An older TV won’t be able to display some of the newer HD content properly.

Electronics

Everyday

Household

Related terms

It’s like bootprints in the snow.

They don’t identify you personally, but they offer clues – the make of the boot, the size you wear, the length of your stride, and the route you were taking.

Apparel

Related terms

It’s like getting into a taxi,

asking for the airport, and being dropped off in the red light district, where everyone greets you by your first name.

Transit

Related terms

It’s like an evil plot to send a letterbomb to a bank.

The bank’s mail room is bomb-proof and will contain any explosion. So the plotter starts by sending 1000 harmless parcels. The mail room becomes so full that they have to start stacking mail outside in the corridor. The next parcel to arrive contains the bomb.

Commerce

Numbers

Related terms

It’s like the Leaning Tower of Pisa,

which looked straight enough for the first five years, but began to lean when a bug in the original design became clear. The foundations were only three meters deep, in soil that was notoriously weak and unstable. Unfortunately, most software bugs don’t turn into lucrative tourist attractions.

Landmark

Infrastructure

Related terms

It’s like your fridge.

You don’t go to the store to buy milk for your coffee, go back later for some butter for your toast, then go back for some milk for your cereal. Your fridge is the cache and your store is the web server.

Appliance

Household

Food

Related terms

It’s like a passport –

issued by a central authority (the passport office / certificate authority), who independently establishes your identity and gives you a passport to prove it to others. Like a passport, a certificate will have in-built security and anti-fraud features.

Everyday

Transit

Related terms

It’s like a bank.

You upload your money, then download as much or as little as you like, wherever you are in the world, by visiting an ATM.

Money

Related terms

It’s like a shop giving you a card.

In the case of useful cookies, it’s a rewards card – a mutually beneficial arrangement where the shop gets to build a relationship with you and track your buying behavior, while you enjoy personalized offers. In the case of useless cookies, it’s just another card you have to carry around, which allows the store to track you but has no real benefit for you in return.

Commerce

Behavior

Related terms

It’s like the law of the horse.

In the early days of the internet, a US judge argued against the idea of a separate field of ‘cyberlaw’ by comparing it to laws for horses. There are many crimes that involve horses, just as there are many that involve computers, but ‘horse law’ isn’t a separate field in its own right – which is a shame, as it sounds like fun.

Animals

Historical

Politics

Related terms

It’s like 200 people calling one number.

A simple DoS attack is like one person repeatedly calling your phone – it’s a nuisance and stops you using the phone, but you have a chance of tracing the person and blocking them. A DDoS attack is like someone anonymously placing a press ad including your phone number and offering an Aston Martin for sale at $200. You’re bombarded by calls, your life is misery, the callers aren’t aware they’re part of a trick, and your attacker is almost impossible to trace.

Behavior

Numbers

Related terms

It’s like the dark side of the moon.

The bright side (the internet) is visible to everyone – all you have to do is look up. To access the dark side, you need specialist software (a rocket).

Outer-Space

Related terms

It’s like your filing cabinet, not your junk drawer.

The data is organized into folders, rather than just thrown in at random.

Office

Household

Related terms

It’s like journalistic sources.

Journalists often ‘deidentify’ their sources by using phrases like ‘A high-ranking official’ or ‘A source close to the President’. This retains some useful information (the seniority of the source may affect the credibility of the story), but protects the individual involved (as long as the phrase is chosen carefully enough).

Profession

Language

Related terms

It’s like a wedding dinner seating plan.

You look up your name, it sends you to table 11 next to Uncle Dave.

Occasion

Related terms

It’s like a poster in the college locker room.

You’ve fallen out with someone and are too cowardly to confront them directly. So you pin up their photo and address in the locker room where the school bullies hang out, along with a provocative quote and helpful tips on when their parents will be out. It may get the result you want, but it’s spineless, passive-aggressive, and won’t win you many friends.

Behavior

School

Related terms

It’s like sending a sealed letter instead of a postcard.

To ban encryption would be like requiring all mail to be sent as postcards, including bank statements, medical letters and holiday photos. Your postman, neighbors and postal service would soon know you pretty well.

Everyday

Related terms

It’s like a nightclub bouncer who decides who’s going in and out.

From time to time, the approved guest list may change, but the bouncer is always the one who enforces it.

Profession

Related terms

It’s like the instrument panel in your car.

Its function is partly aesthetic – you want the display to look cool. But it’s mainly about usability, because it contains all the controls you need to operate the back end. You can have the greatest car in the world, but it’s no use if you can’t figure out how to work the headlights.

Electronics

Mechanical

Transit

Related terms

It’s like talking on speakerphone.

HTTP is a one-to-one conversation between you and server, but you’re effectively having that conversation on speakerphone, with your feet casually up on the desk, and there’s always a chance of a passer-by overhearing. If it’s a call to your doctor about that delicate personal matter, better to pick up the receiver (switch to HTTPS).

Behavior

Electronics

Language

Related terms

It’s like an armored transport vehicle.

If you want to send a group of prisoners from the courtroom to the jail, you use a bulletproof van with blacked out windows to establish a secure connection from one location to the other. Using an open HTTP connection is like showing the prisoners out onto the street, pointing them in the right direction, and hoping for the best.

Transit

Related terms

It’s like Marvel’s Avengers Assemble.

There’s a problem in the world and you know there must be an answer. So you assemble your best people, each with their own specialist skills, and together you set out to save the world. (NB: In 95% of cases you fail, but at least it’s fun trying.)

Film

Character

Related terms

It’s like MacGyver.

Locked in a basement, and trapped in an endlessly recurring plotline, the TV hero uses a gas canister, matches, a few rags and a piece of lead piping to build an unlikely improvised cannon that blows the door open, freeing him from the basement if not the plotline.

Television

Character

Tool

Related terms

It’s like flypaper.

Strips of the fragrant but sticky paper are hung around the internet to attract the internet pests.

Insect

Related terms

It’s like telephone numbers.

The telephone system works because each number is different. The numbers also contain general information about which country and region you are in. With IP addresses, you can have a static address (the same number all the time – like your landline), or a dynamic address (a temporary number assigned each time you make a call – like using a random payphone).

Electronics

Everyday

Numbers

Related terms

It’s like a postal company.

Some envisage a future for ISPs being more like a postal company, delivering the content that people pay to have delivered, and fast-tracking premium content for those who pay the most.

Money

Commerce

Related terms

It’s like Miles Davis not Mozart.

Learning to play Mozart is theoretically a mechanical task of repeating the right notes in the right order. Learning to play improvisational jazz is about recognizing underlying patterns including rhythm, tempo, chords and modes. Once you’ve mastered the patterns, you can play along to something you’ve never heard before, preferably while wearing a turtleneck sweater.

Music

Art

Related terms

It’s like what’s on the envelope.

Theoretically, metadata isn’t about the content of your messages, just the external details. But even that can tell you a lot – where it’s from, who it’s addressed to, how heavy it is. From that, you can start to identify the content – if it’s from a bank, it probably isn’t a love letter. Most digital metadata contains extra nuggets – the software you use, the top line of content, the IP address that can be matched with other online activity. So it can be a fairly transparent envelope.

Everyday

Related terms

It’s like highways without toll booths.

You can choose to make every road open to everyone equally. Or you can introduce toll booths for more direct routes. The problem is, you can’t create a fast route without creating a slow route. And some worry that slower roads will soon have speed bumps built in to make the premium ones more attractive.

Transit

Politics

Infrastructure

Related terms

It’s like hiring a gardener for your second home in Spain.

You already employ a trusted housekeeper who has a key and looks after the place while you’re away. Rather than give the gardener another key, you instruct the housekeeper to let them in and give them access to the shed. Now your house and garden are in great shape for your next visit – you have a good life.

Profession

Household

Geography

Related terms

It’s like a car park card.

It’s matched to your car registration plate and valid for one hour, starting at the exact time you purchased it. It won’t work for any other car and you can’t come back and use it again tomorrow.

Transit

Everyday

Related terms

It’s like baking a cake for a friend, then giving them the recipe.

The cake is the software, except tastier, and sharing the recipe is the open source part. Not only does your friend get to enjoy the cake, but they can also bake themselves another, or make it for another friend’s birthday, maybe using peanut butter this time instead of buttercream, because your friend is a genius.

Food

Related terms

It’s like a patch on your jeans.

An update to an existing product that corrects a weak point in the knee area, and can sometimes be considered an aesthetic improvement.

Apparel

Related terms

It’s like a potluck picnic,

where each guest brings a different dish and everyone shares directly with each other. As opposed to a restaurant where everyone places an order and waits for the kitchen to serve up.

Food

Occasion

Related terms

It’s like a fake ATM

that prints out an error message when you try to use it, but in the meantime has taken your credit card details and pin number.

Money

Numbers

Related terms

It’s like whistling to a sheepdog.

It’s an instructional language. You’re not setting out to have a conversation with the dog, just to direct it for the goals you have in mind.

Animals

Language

Related terms

It’s like a celebrity’s agent

who filters all fan mail, deals with the most routine requests, is authorized by the celebrity to speak on their behalf, and controls direct access to the celebrity themselves.

Celebrity

Profession

Related terms

It’s like taking a hostage.

As the name suggests, it’s a form of kidnapping, where your data is taken hostage (often using a virus) and a ransom demand follows. In the more sophisticated cases, even Liam Neeson can’t help you.

Behavior

Celebrity

Film

Related terms

It’s like a receptionist,

who handles all outgoing and incoming requests to your office. When a guest arrives, the receptionist knows who made the appointment and sends the guest to the right floor.

Office

Profession

Related terms

It’s like cages in a pet store.

You could let the pets roam around the store, but the dog might hassle the hamster, or the sickly iguana might infect the parrot. Better to keep them separate – no one wants a dead parrot in a pet shop.

Animals

Commerce

Related terms

It’s like an elaborate fist-bump between a client and the server.

It begins with a standard knuckle-bump to establish contact, followed by some intricate palm-to-palm action to convey mutual trust, then some tight algorithmic finger-clasping as you exchange keys. The client then talks to the server in a weird street language no one else can understand.

Behavior

Language

Related terms

It’s like a wizard’s wand.

Without it, the wizard recites his secret spells and there’s always a chance someone can overhear him and learn the same spells. With the wand, only the wizard can wave it while reciting the spell. It’s a form of physical authentication.

Character

Tool

Related terms

It’s like a reservoir –

a store of data for multiple users to download, via a browser rather than a tap. Like a reservoir, a server needs to be kept clean and healthy.

Infrastructure

Related terms

It's like junk mail.

But worse – at least those pizza flyers and win-a-million competitions are from real organizations that can easily be tracked down.

Everyday

Household

Related terms

It’s like a prank phone call.

Like that time when someone impersonating Vladimir Putin called to invite Elton John to the Kremlin. In the case of email spoofing, the ‘mail from’ address would be adapted to resemble Putin’s address. You’d have to ask Elton and Vladimir whether they consider this kind of thing a harmless prank or a crime. Maybe give them a call?

Celebrity

Historical

Landmark

Related terms

It’s like hidden microphones.

Once installed, some spyware monitors every keystroke you make, picking up passwords, bank details, and the lyrics to that song you’ve been working on.

Electronics

Related terms

It’s like the Ray-Ban Wayfarer of browsers.

No one can see what you’re watching. And it makes you look cool and enigmatic.

Apparel

Related terms

It’s like a poisoned chalice.

Shakespeare was the first to introduce the idea of a poisoned chalice in Macbeth – a gift or honor that looks flattering at first, but ultimately proves destructive. Act 1, scene 7 (but you knew that).

Book

Drink

Theater

Related terms

It’s like road rage.

Given the relative anonymity of being encased in a machine, whether it’s a car or a computer, people shout and get aggressive in ways that would never occur to them if you were talking face to face.

Behavior

Language

Transit

Related terms

It’s like a tunnel, not an open road.

If you’re working remotely, it’s like having a secure tunnel to your office, carrying the information back and forth, safe from prying eyes.

Infrastructure

Transit

Related terms

It’s like a biological virus.

Some are actually a good thing – we rely on them to fight bacteria and help our immune systems. But like real viruses, software viruses are usually bad news. It helps to have a strong immune system and not go round sneezing on each other.

Medical

Related terms

It’s like the President’s motorcade,

complete with bulletproof car and motorcycle outriders. It escorts you safely from your device to your internet connection. But you still need extra security once you’re at the venue.

Politics

Transit

Related terms

It’s like Luke Skywalker,

who uses his Jedi powers for good, and generally wears white. Star Wars is basically a Western.

Character

Film

Outer-Space

Related terms

It’s like a hotel visitor book.

As opposed to a hotel brochure. The content is made up entirely of public contributions.

Book

Related terms

It’s like realizing you’ve left your King exposed in chess.

You stay quiet, hope your opponent hasn’t noticed, and start working on a defense. In the worst case scenario, your opponent noticed five moves ago and has been toying with you ever since. Checkmate.

Game

Related terms